What Does the Bible say about Domestic Abuse?
The following is written by Rev Tracy Lauersen and is an excerpt from the book: Renew, produced by Anglicare Sydney.
Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.
PSALM 34:8
The Bible consistently identifies abuse with a misuse of power and condemns abuse of all kinds as unjust. Sometimes abusers use the Bible’s teaching on topics such as marriage, submission, love and forgiveness to persuade victims of domestic abuse to tolerate abuse and to remain in a relationship which is abusive.[1]
You may have been told that the Bible’s teaching on the lifelong commitment of marriage is a reason to overlook abuse, but the Bible is clear that God never condones abuse. If a relationship ends over violence, it is the person who abused that has caused the relationship to break down, not the person seeking safety. Let’s look more closely at what the Bible teaches about violence.
Violence entered the world as a result of sin
In Genesis 3 we read that human rebellion against God resulted in conflict between people. Almost immediately after this we read the narrative of Cain murdering his brother Abel (Gen 4:8). Violence motivated by anger, revenge and general moral degeneration are found throughout the pages of Scripture.
This includes violence against women, such as the rape of Dinah (Genesis 34), of the woman of Bethlehem (Judges 19–20), and of Tamar (2 Samuel 13), and violence against Jephthah’s daughter (Judges 11:29–40) and the Levite’s concubine (Judges 19).
The Bible uses a few different words for violence
The Hebrew word ‘hamas’ means violence or wrongdoing and is used about 60 times in the Bible, usually referring to physical violence, but also to general wickedness, sin, injustice and verbal violence. The words ‘gazal’ and ‘asaq’ mean ‘to rob’ and ‘oppress’ and are used to refer to violence that may be physical, verbal or immoral. Other words have the meaning of attack, destroy and annihilate. The Hebrew verb ‘anah’ means ‘to rape, to violate sexually’ and can also mean ‘to oppress’ or ‘to weaken’. Other words are also used to mean to oppress, to crush. As in our own time, a variety of words are used, and context determines meaning. The behaviours we associate today with domestic abuse such as physical violence, rape, intimidation, threats, isolation and emotional abuse fit within the Bible‘s description of violence.
The presence of violent narratives in the Bible are not a prescription for violence or an approval of violence, but rather are consistent with the Bible’s realistic portrayal of human civilisation
In Genesis 6:11 we read that the earth became corrupt in God’s sight and full of violence. The chapters depicting violence in the Old Testament are a ‘warts and all’ historic account of the extent of evil and the fallen nature of humanity, including historical cultural attitudes to various forms of violence. This record of history should not lead us to think violence is condoned by God. These passages are not there to ‘normalise’ violence.
Violence is condemned as sinful in the Bible
The extent of human violence in the days of Noah was so destructive that God despaired of his creation. The Ten Commandments condemn violence, the Old Testament laws of Deuteronomy prescribe punishments for violence against others, including sexual violence against women (Deuteronomy 22:25–29). The books of Psalms and Proverbs counsel people to shun evil (Proverbs 3:7), malicious behaviour, concealed hatred and lying lips, slander and the stirring up of conflict (Proverbs 10). In the Judges 19–20 account of the rape of the woman of Bethlehem, the act is condemned as a lewd and outrageous act. The rapists are described as ‘wicked men’ and the rape and murder of the woman bring about a violent uprising against the tribe of those who committed the crime. In Old Testament law, rape was considered equivalent to murder, with punishment of death in some cases (Deuteronomy 22:25–30). Other narratives of family violence, such as that done to Tamar (2 Samuel 13), also show the impact of such trauma on the victim and God’s condemnation of it.
There are patterns of behaviour that often accompany and contribute to domestic abuse. We see these condemned in the Bible and guilt is assigned to the abuser:
Using power to oppress others is condemned (Eccl 4:1)
Hitting another is condemned in Exodus 21:26–27
Causing trouble in the household and bringing ruin to a family is condemned in Proverbs 11:29
Instead of abuse and violence, the Bible promotes peace (shalom) between people.
Stirring up conflict is condemned in Proverbs 10
The man who hates his wife is described as doing violence to the very person he should protect in Mal 2:16
Verbal abuse, hurtful words, damaging gossip, insults, hateful slander is condemned (Matt 5:22, Prov 18:21, James 3:9)
Twisting words is condemned in Psalm 56:5
Calling wrong ‘right’ and right ‘wrong’ – a common domestic abuse behaviour that we refer to today as gaslighting – is condemned in Malachi 2:17
Threatening others is condemned in Psalm 73:8 Cursing, lying, threatening is called out as evil in Psalm 10:7
Secret and shameful ways are condemned by the Apostle Paul in 2 Corinthians 4:2.[2]
Instead of abuse and violence, the Bible promotes peace (shalom) between people
This peace is of a kind that means that each person experiences wellbeing, security, safety from harm and positive relationships.3 God wants peace to permeate all of creation. It is what we see when we read the first pages of the Bible and encounter the garden of Eden – where there is perfect harmony, and peace between Adam and Eve, with God and with creation. It is where we see a gracious mutual submission between Adam and Eve.
Jesus came into the world in order that, through his work on the cross, we might access peace with God and a renewed peace with one another and creation. He came that we might stop battling against one another (Isaiah 2:4).
The ultimate end to Jesus’ work is described in Revelation 21, where we read of the end of all that is shameful and deceitful and of the healing of the nations and the restoration of the kind of peace between people and God that was enjoyed before sin entered the world.
God loves justice and establishes equity (Psalm 99:4)
Amos 5:24 says:
But let justice roll on like a river, righteousness like a never-failing stream!
As domestic abuse is an unjust misuse of a person’s power, it stands to reason that God wants justice for the one who is subject to domestic abuse. Church leaders and all Christians should stand against domestic abuse and defend those that are subject to it. In Ezekiel we read of the judgement of God on leaders who do not take care of the weak and tend to the injured (Ezekiel 34).
Proverbs 22:24–25 counsels us not to be friends with angry or hot-tempered men
Jesus was expansive in his teaching that evil acts start inside a person, and he connected the seeds of anger and slander and put-downs to their ultimate fruit, murder, all of which would incur God’s judgement. Jesus recognised violence as a denial of justice. He taught about God’s compassion for victims of violence. The story of the good Samaritan underlines Jesus’ teaching that victims of violence ought to be shown care and be helped to heal. The position held by some people that a victim should tolerate abuse for the sake of their marriage or in order to honour their spouse or for the sake of not drawing attention to their spouse is a subversion of the Bible’s expansive condemnation of all the behaviours associated with what we today call domestic abuse.
Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband.
And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, ‘Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes.
There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.’ He who was seated on the throne said, ‘I am making everything new!’
REVELATION 21:1–5
Top Tip: Domestic abuse is sinful, and the perpetrator of such abuse is guilty of sin. The survivor who decides to leave a relationship characterised by domestic abuse is not guilty of any sin.
Author: Anglicare Sydney